It would be completely unfair to let women know what guys really want and not do the same for the guys (all in the name of equality, of course). So many articles out there are selling men the tricks to making their women happy. Most are not honest so I thought to save you the cash and time and simply spill out the unwritten and unfiltered truth. So as a follow up from what guys really want, here I am with what we ladies really want:

(1) MONEY 

No woman in the 21st century is likely going to throw herself in a financially difficult relationship. Most women in this century can cater for themselves and as much as they preach equality, deep inside they seek a man that can hold it down not only emotionally but also financially. We want to feel secure and as much as some may deny it, money plays a huge part in that security.

(2) PHYSICAL VALIDATION

Now guys, listen and listen real good, we’re absolutely tired of asking you how we look and you respond with lines like “I love you just the way you are” knowing well you are simply trying to be nice. Women love direct physical compliments like ‘your ass looks absolutely stunning in that dress’ so try being more specific with your compliments and see how your girl responds, you’d be surprised. #ThankMeLater

(3) SURPRISES

Women love to be surprised. I really wish I could emphasis more on that word “LOVE” because the guys that do this often know how much extra points they score. We women love the idea that you’re thinking about us 24/7 (even though we know its a lie), so little gestures like sending flowers to our office and stopping by unannounced to take us out to eat, could go a long way in keeping us happy.

(4) A GREAT LISTENER

This is really important because men misunderstand what it means to be a good listener and most of us women often get offended by your responses during conversations. For example, I was in a conversation with my boyfriend explaining how much I disliked a co-worker and right in the middle of the conversation he says “but don’t you think you take things a bit too far?” #WhoAskedForYourOpinion. Truth is comments like these offend most of us. We expect you to listen and if we ask your opinion, you take our side even if it kills you. Know when your opinion is warranted and when it isn’t.

(5) A FUNNY GUY

Hold up!!! We’re not necessarily searching for a comedian, but every girl has a soft spot for a funny guy (It’s what we Nigerian girls refer to as our Mumu button). The thing with funny guys is they get away with so much simply because they know how to spin our moods from mad/sad to happy at the speed of light.

(6) TO BE APPRECIATED

However insignificant our actions may seem to you, we want to know that you payed attention and appreciated it. By simply saying “Thank you” (because you want to not because you have to).  AVOID giving sarcastic compliments like “this is the best meal you’ve made in ages babe”,  we hate it! (are you trying to say our past meals were bad??). Simply say “Babe, I love this and thanks for taking the time to make this for me”.

Every girl wants you to think she’s the best thing that ever happened to you (even if it’s a lie). You may after reading this list believe women want too much…I can not argue with you on this one, I can only provide you with the truth. Do with it as you please.

I can’t pretend like guys don’t put in the work, I am simply saying you need a little more help. So ladies what else is it that you REALLY want from your man that I might have left out? Let me know by making use of the comments section below.

Ladies!! Has your man ever hit you with the ‘if only you knew what I want” line? (ouch!), stings doesn’t it? Quite a number of us women commit immense time and energy to make sure our man is happy but most times, it seems like energy is being wasted. We spend hours online looking online for inspirational dishes. We then spend hours rummaging the supermarkets for the ingredients, not to mention those hot long hours in the kitchen trying to throw down an amazing 5 course dinner, to received a “Thanks” from our man. This is exactly why I’ve been inspired to create this post to let you know what it is that your man really really wants. Some of you might need to hold your weaves for this one because these men are needy to put it lightly.

1. SEX

Men love intimacy and want to be able to express that in an intimate way on a regular basis. Nothing much left to say here. That simple.

2. SUPPORT

You may think you support your man because you’re always there for him during tough times. Nice but the kind of support they need is the kind you give when his favourite sports team is playing (did someone say huh???). Your man really wants support when he’s watching his favorite sports team play. If you can’t stand watching sports (a lot of women can’t), try to at least make sure he enjoys his game by not being a distraction. If you want to get in his good books, buy him his favorite player’s jersey.

3. FREE PASSES

Calm down, it’s not what you’re thinking. What I mean is an escape from most of the boring outings we all engage in these days. A lot of us ladies make our man go on outings like attending our book clubs, our weird doctors appointments and even shopping trips. Honestly, women that take their men shopping are just the worst in men’s books (unless he’s paying then we don’t care how he feels #joking).

4. EMOTIONAL MATURITY

No guy wants an overly emotional being as a partner. Men don’t want to be burdened with the need to sugarcoat their words especially when trying to offer productive critique. They love the idea of their woman being able to handle her emotions especially when handling issues concerning the relationship.

5. THE PLAYFUL TYPE

Every man wants a playful lady, one who he can keep him smiling despite the stress that comes with life. A lot of us ladies can neither give nor take a joke meanwhile guys love women who can laugh at anything. A male friend of mine once said “Astrophysics should be left for the classroom and not the home”.

6. RESPECT

It goes without saying that you can’t give what you do not have. Ideal women possess certain levels of self-respect and this can reflect in how much you respect your man. Respect being that you understand most of his needs and you give him just enough space to express himself without making yourself a priority over him.

7. CONFIDENCE

There is nothing sexier to a man than a woman who is confident within and loves herself. Guys see landing a confident woman like getting an ultimate prize because they know you have your own thing going that keeps you happy and so even when they’re not there, you’re good. Essentially, guys don’t want a needy woman but at the same time, they need you to need them (hope you get my drift).

Guys are not as simple as we mistake them to be ladies, so we really should try to make extra effort to figure out makes them happy (Simply ask your man, and you’ll find the keys). No point wasting our time doing what we think they need when we can simply focus on what they need. For the ladies, I’ll share my sassy post on what women want next week. And FYI just because I have put up a list of what men want doesn’t mean that you necessarily have to give it to them. I want a mansion in beverly hills, I want to be a billionaire, I want to have my cake and also eat it…you can see I want a lot, it doesn’t mean I can’t survive without it!

Men and women often want the same things, we just need each other to bring it out. – Steve Harvey

So do you agree with this or you think I have completely missed the mark? Let me know by commenting below.

Finding the right potential partner in life is like searching for a needle in a haystack. It is not impossible but I can certainly testify that it can be a difficult, time exhausting and sometimes painful process. It is clear to all of us that perfection does not exist and that there are indeed no perfect people out there. But we can all also testify that there are some men out there that are not worth giving your time of day to (For the men, don’t forget to read my piece on the women to steer clear of). Those are the ones that I am about to enlighten you on. This is my attempt to assist you in saving you some time and of course sanity. Here they are:

1. THE DRUNK

If you are not into this type of guy and you spot him, don’t waste your time thinking you can change him. Filter him out asap. Some of them hide it on the first few dates but that’s just for as long as you can keep a fish out of water alive. When he starts showing you telltale signs of always getting drunk, you need to exit the scene. And like I said, if you are not naturally into the drunk ones – stay away.

2. THE CHEAP FELLOW

A guy does not need to be rich to pay up his bills, he only needs to be responsible. A guy who constantly feels lazy about paying his own bills or even for at least his own portion of the meal at the table should be far away from the potential list. If a guy is really into you, he should naturally want to pay the bills for the date (you may disagree but each to their own). If not because he wants to impress you with his ability to provide for you, he will do it out of manners. I wouldn’t entertain anyone who signals me to pay up for everything when the bill arrives especially without prior notice.

3. THE GHOST

You know next to nothing about this guy. You have zero information about his family, friends and even colleagues (even his google search comes up with “Your search – MYSTERY MAN – did not match any documents). He is a mysterious stranger. Relationships with a man without a past hardly ever ends happily. Moreover why would you want to endanger yourself by getting involved with someone who hides things about himself from you?

4. THE VOLCANO

If you have seen the movie “The perfect Guy”, you would remember how Michael Ealy was the all smooth-talking and charming guy for the first part before his temperament got the better of him. A man’s temper is part of the things to watch in the first few days. A good guy will listen to you and communicate effectively even if you do not agree on the same issues. The volcano guy will bitch and throw tantrums and sooner or later, he may hit you. Save your future self the headache and bruises. You don’t want that guy (I hope so).

5. THE DICTATOR

This is the authoritarian. He is the one to tell you the right amount of make-up you need, the jewelry you must not wear and even food to eat. He is usually aggressive and controlling and will tell you “it is for your own good”. If he dictates to you what you need to do at every time, you are dealing with a tyrant. Steer clear.

6. THE DAFFODIL

This is the attention seeker. He always craves attention (i.e admiration), no matter what the company may be. He often interrupts others, sprinkles jokes (not always witty) and sure enough, he is going to be angry if there is no response or laughter from you. The main object of his interest, is not you, but himself.

7. THE ONE WHO IS MARRIED TO HIS JOB

True enough a man needs to be dedicated to his job and most times having a solid career is often his biggest priority. However it is important that he knows the word “balance”. If he finds it hard to balance his work and personal life and he is not willing to learn how to, you may have issues on your hands. He may never be ready. If he wants to be with you, he has to find time for you (if you can survive without attention, you can stay).

You might think to yourself that many men hold some of the attributes above but truth is also that many don’t. However the truth is we all compromise in life and the best way to ensure we come out happy is that we evaluate what really matters to us. And not just what matters to us today but what will matter to our future self. Only when we are able to do this can we actually steer clear of danger.

Did I miss out on any men women should steer clear of? Let me know them as am sure you’ve all had experience of them.

Image: Pinterest

You see, men often get blamed for ruined relationships or having personality traits that make it almost impossible to sustain healthy relationships. But the truth is, men aren’t always the ones to blame for the death of many relationships, women are.

Here I am with a secret list that shows men the type of women they should steer clear of, if they are trying to pursue successful relationships. I can see the ladies rolling their eyes at me already. Instead of rolling your eyes, take this as a help guide to guide you about the traits you should drop at the door before engaging in trying to find Mr Right.

1. MS. RIGHT

 While the portrayal may make you scratch your head, I promise you it is worlds away from what you are thinking because this is Ms. Right = Ms. Always Right or Ms. Has To Be Right. This beautiful lady can have a host of great qualities and characteristics but she has a dogmatic character for being correct that turns off any man and turns any relationship into a disaster. She has to be right about anything and everything to the point that your slightest word had better be in agreement with hers. If you disagree or prove her wrong, there is hell to pay. While her great qualities may make you want to hang in there and overlook her excesses, Ms. Right is one of the types that cannot be changed. Sorry bro but the best you can do is to avoid her if you cannot handle this trait long-term. She is proud, arrogant and uncompromising when it boils down to other people’s views.

Image: arleyart

2. THE CONTROL FREAK

Now this lady is just a seat away from the first lady. For this woman, her perfect relationship is less about compatibility and compromise but it is more about having someone that does everything she declares. The only way she can be happy is if she has complete control over situations which wrecks all opportunities for freedom, romantic surprises and, you know, a man to love out of his own free will.

Image: mydreamcatalyst

3. THE MOTHER GOOSE

If she is always fixing your hair and tucking in your shirt, you’re the victim of a Mother Goose. Although she may have good intentions and be awesome in many other ways, her motherly instincts will eventually drive you up the wall. She may not be a lost cause, as some women can be taught to stop “cosseting” you. However, if you’ve talked to her about it a few times and she still can’t resist the urge to spit on a tissue to remove a spot from your face, you might have to go your separate ways, unless you can handle it, which I doubt.

Image: mpcshows

4. THE INSECURE/JEALOUS TYPE

We all struggle with some level of insecurities but some people struggle more than others. Yes, I can hear you saying everyone gets jealous but wait, when you are repeatedly hear questions like “you like her?”, “why is edible catering calling you?”, “why doesn’t your Facebook say you are in a relationship?”, “it took you 15 minutes to get home, google map says it takes only 12mins, where were you?”. Ermmmm nuts right? I thought so too.

   Image: pinterest

5. THE GOLD DIGGER

All men have experienced the effort to bring together their physical, mystical and financial aspects. In the process of courting, you will pay for flowers, go out to the movies, and lay the world out before her. However, while you spend with emotion and desire, make sure your new lady is enjoying you and not just your money. Gold diggers will eventually show their colors when they begin expecting you to pay for all their bills. Do you really want a woman who only sees you as a dollar sign or an ATM? (And maybe you don’t mind?)

Image: clutchmagonline

6. THE PASSIVE AGGRESSOR

This one reeks danger. She is unable to tell you how she feels so she acts out her feelings, which will surely confuse you. When she’s passive, it may seem alluring but that indifference will eventually turn back into violence when she feels she isn’t getting what she wants. Run forest run!

 Image: crosswalk

7. THE DRAMA MOMMA

She takes minor provocations as personal attacks. She will throw others under the bus (including you) to get what they “deserve”. This woman my friend is the drama momma; It reeks drama everywhere she goes. She always believes she’s been victimized and she ensure you hear very sordid detail. But the drama isn’t necessarily the dangerous side of this kind of woman (And really: A woman isn’t “dramatic” because she’s emotional. Emotions are healthy). Her problem is the underlying belief that it is always everyone else’s fault. This woman is to be avoided because she cannot comprehend the meaning of taking responsibility for her actions. She might even have a clinical condition, just saying.

Image: daz3d

Keeping all the above in mind, we should all be mindful of the reality we in; that relationships aren’t about finding perfection (experience has thought us all that it doesn’t exist). Relationships are about finding imperfect people who are aware of their flaws and weaknesses, people who are working to become better version of themselves for both parties. Bonne Chance!

Are you in a relationship with any of the listed or even better still, if you’re a lady and you found yourself in the list, do you agree that men should avoid you?