It is only fair that I elaborate on what a side chick is for those innocent ones amongst us. Just the way sweet potato fries accompanies steak at a meal, a side chick accompanies a wife or main girlfriend. Now all you “mains” (aka wives or main girlfriends) don’t need to start raising your eyebrows at me, I am just trying to help some sisters out. Moreover if you were doing your job, your man might not have had to source a side chick (you can shoot me now..haha).
Okay so first things first, we all know being a side chick is not as easy as it sounds and if you want to be a certified side chick you have to know your onions. To assist you in your craft, I am going to give you ten ways to succeed in your role so stay glued. And for those “mains”, this will serve as a sneak peek into how that other woman has a hold on your man.
1) LET HIM BREATH
We get it, all girls need some fair amount of attention but no dear, you cannot demand the kind of attention he gives his wife/main bae as the case may be. Give him space! Go out with your girlfriends, go to the movies, bag another man, keep busy. Do not for one second think that he will come running every second you need him. If you understand that, then you would save yourself the cash you would have wasted on pain killers and therapy sessions when he doesn’t call for days because he is celebrating his 5th wedding anniversary with his wife and kids.
2) NO DRAMA (KNOW YOUR ROLE)
This is important. If you are a side chick, drama is never good for your market. You cannot be starting up fights or get angry because he forgot your birthday (Is he your mother???). When you hear around town that he is about marry his main girlfriend this coming weekend, you cannot show up at the church waiting for your cue when the pastor says “Anybody knows why these two…….”. Again darling, NO DRAMA! #KnowYourPlace
3) AVOID HAVING THE “TALK”
Yes I know things can get pretty heated and you are catching feelings, day dreaming of paradise; thinking you’re the ‘main’ girlfriend that you well know you are not. When you feel the urge to have the “talk”, DON’T! Refrain from asking him questions like “What are we doing?” or Where is this going?” Those kinds of questions will push him away fast. My sister, you know exactly what you are both doing. #AgainKnowYourPlace
4) NO JEALOUSY
This is a no brainer. If you are a side chick, you don’t have privileges of questions such as: “Where were you?”, “Why didn’t you call me?”, “Who were you on the phone with?” etc. especially if you want to keep the relationship going. These are not side chick questions, so keep the jealousy away. Your questions should be stress-free messages of excitement, adventure and satisfaction.
5) ALWAYS LOOK YOUR BEST
As a side chick, you have to always be on point. You are not his “main” so you don’t get to hang around him in sweats. Stay in shape, don’t get fat and always keep up with the latest fashion trends. #ThisIsPreciselyWhatYouWereRecruitedFor
I know you know I am not talking interpersonal skills here. I am talking about your bedding skills. As I mentioned previously: keep up with the trends, be creative and all is well with you.
7) DON’T DREAM
Just because he flew you on his private jet to Monaco for a luxurious weekend, you can’t start drawing castles in the sky. Don’t get dreamy or desperate. Keep your hopes to yourself and don’t make him feel you are going to start reading meanings into his ‘I want you”, “I want to leave her for you” text. #StayInYourLane
8) KEEP THINGS INTERESTING
Whenever he is with you, keep the conversation interesting. Your main responsibility as a side chick is to keep things fun and exciting. Surprise him. Do whatever you have to do to keep things exciting, as long as it feels natural. Just don’t go overboard by showing up unannounced just because he said the whole family were on vacation (He might be with Side Chick No. 3).
9) LET HIM BE BOSS/CALL THE SHOTS
Unfortunately, because he is the one having the affair you have to let him take the lead. If he wants to see you, he will summon you. This is especially true at night; don’t try to call or text him late at night or his “main” may see your text and things could go south (I’ve heard of “main” beating up “sides” #RespectYourself)
10) DON’T DEMAND MONEY
Obviously this is a no brainer, he is going give you money (unless he is miser which means you need to move on). Please do not send any gold digger signals his way. There is a skill to getting what you want without directly asking for anything (I’ll leave that for another day).
Hopefully you might graduate from being the side chick to the “main chick” (if that is indeed your goal). I have heard that some side chicks are very ok with their status and have zero intention on changing it #EachToTheirOwn.
We may all have our differing opinions regarding side chicks. One perspective we should not forget is that some people cannot help who they love and who are we to judge whether or not their feelings are right or not.
“YOU CAN’T REALLY UNDERSTAND ANOTHER PERSON’S EXPERIENCE UNTIL YOU’VE WALKED A MILE IN THEIR SHOES.” || PROVERB
What is your opinion on the notion of side chicks and perhaps you have some insights you can share?
Featured image: Relationship Craze