#SASSYFUNKE

Finding the right potential partner in life is like searching for a needle in a haystack. It is not impossible but I can certainly testify that it can be a difficult, time exhausting and sometimes painful process. It is clear to all of us that perfection does not exist and that there are indeed no perfect people out there. But we can all also testify that there are some men out there that are not worth giving your time of day to (For the men, don’t forget to read my piece on the women to steer clear of). Those are the ones that I am about to enlighten you on. This is my attempt to assist you in saving you some time and of course sanity. Here they are:

1. THE DRUNK

If you are not into this type of guy and you spot him, don’t waste your time thinking you can change him. Filter him out asap. Some of them hide it on the first few dates but that’s just for as long as you can keep a fish out of water alive. When he starts showing you telltale signs of always getting drunk, you need to exit the scene. And like I said, if you are not naturally into the drunk ones – stay away.

2. THE CHEAP FELLOW

A guy does not need to be rich to pay up his bills, he only needs to be responsible. A guy who constantly feels lazy about paying his own bills or even for at least his own portion of the meal at the table should be far away from the potential list. If a guy is really into you, he should naturally want to pay the bills for the date (you may disagree but each to their own). If not because he wants to impress you with his ability to provide for you, he will do it out of manners. I wouldn’t entertain anyone who signals me to pay up for everything when the bill arrives especially without prior notice.

3. THE GHOST

You know next to nothing about this guy. You have zero information about his family, friends and even colleagues (even his google search comes up with “Your search – MYSTERY MAN – did not match any documents). He is a mysterious stranger. Relationships with a man without a past hardly ever ends happily. Moreover why would you want to endanger yourself by getting involved with someone who hides things about himself from you?

4. THE VOLCANO

If you have seen the movie “The perfect Guy”, you would remember how Michael Ealy was the all smooth-talking and charming guy for the first part before his temperament got the better of him. A man’s temper is part of the things to watch in the first few days. A good guy will listen to you and communicate effectively even if you do not agree on the same issues. The volcano guy will bitch and throw tantrums and sooner or later, he may hit you. Save your future self the headache and bruises. You don’t want that guy (I hope so).

5. THE DICTATOR

This is the authoritarian. He is the one to tell you the right amount of make-up you need, the jewelry you must not wear and even food to eat. He is usually aggressive and controlling and will tell you “it is for your own good”. If he dictates to you what you need to do at every time, you are dealing with a tyrant. Steer clear.

6. THE DAFFODIL

This is the attention seeker. He always craves attention (i.e admiration), no matter what the company may be. He often interrupts others, sprinkles jokes (not always witty) and sure enough, he is going to be angry if there is no response or laughter from you. The main object of his interest, is not you, but himself.

7. THE ONE WHO IS MARRIED TO HIS JOB

True enough a man needs to be dedicated to his job and most times having a solid career is often his biggest priority. However it is important that he knows the word “balance”. If he finds it hard to balance his work and personal life and he is not willing to learn how to, you may have issues on your hands. He may never be ready. If he wants to be with you, he has to find time for you (if you can survive without attention, you can stay).

 

You might think to yourself that many men hold some of the attributes above but truth is also that many don’t. However the truth is we all compromise in life and the best way to ensure we come out happy is that we evaluate what really matters to us. And not just what matters to us today but what will matter to our future self. Only when we are able to do this can we actually steer clear of danger.

Did I miss out on any men women should steer clear of? Let me know them as am sure you’ve all had experience of them.

Image: Pinterest

You see, men often get blamed for ruined relationships or having personality traits that make it almost impossible to sustain healthy relationships. But the truth is, men aren’t always the ones to blame for the death of many relationships, women are.

Here I am with a secret list that shows men the type of women they should steer clear of, if they are trying to pursue successful relationships. I can see the ladies rolling their eyes at me already. Instead of rolling your eyes, take this as a help guide to guide you about the traits you should drop at the door before engaging in trying to find Mr Right.

1. MS. RIGHT

 While the portrayal may make you scratch your head, I promise you it is worlds away from what you are thinking because this is Ms. Right = Ms. Always Right or Ms. Has To Be Right. This beautiful lady can have a host of great qualities and characteristics but she has a dogmatic character for being correct that turns off any man and turns any relationship into a disaster. She has to be right about anything and everything to the point that your slightest word had better be in agreement with hers. If you disagree or prove her wrong, there is hell to pay. While her great qualities may make you want to hang in there and overlook her excesses, Ms. Right is one of the types that cannot be changed. Sorry bro but the best you can do is to avoid her if you cannot handle this trait long-term. She is proud, arrogant and uncompromising when it boils down to other people’s views.

Image: arleyart

 

2. THE CONTROL FREAK

Now this lady is just a seat away from the first lady. For this woman, her perfect relationship is less about compatibility and compromise but it is more about having someone that does everything she declares. The only way she can be happy is if she has complete control over situations which wrecks all opportunities for freedom, romantic surprises and, you know, a man to love out of his own free will.

           

Image: mydreamcatalyst

3. THE MOTHER GOOSE

If she is always fixing your hair and tucking in your shirt, you’re the victim of a Mother Goose. Although she may have good intentions and be awesome in many other ways, her motherly instincts will eventually drive you up the wall. She may not be a lost cause, as some women can be taught to stop “cosseting” you. However, if you’ve talked to her about it a few times and she still can’t resist the urge to spit on a tissue to remove a spot from your face, you might have to go your separate ways, unless you can handle it, which I doubt.

            

Image: mpcshows

4. THE INSECURE/JEALOUS TYPE

We all struggle with some level of insecurities but some people struggle more than others. Yes, I can hear you saying everyone gets jealous but wait, when you are repeatedly hear questions like “you like her?”, “why is edible catering calling you?”, “why doesn’t your Facebook say you are in a relationship?”, “it took you 15 minutes to get home, google map says it takes only 12mins, where were you?”. Ermmmm nuts right? I thought so too.

            

   Image: pinterest

 

5. THE GOLD DIGGER

All men have experienced the effort to bring together their physical, mystical and financial aspects. In the process of courting, you will pay for flowers, go out to the movies, and lay the world out before her. However, while you spend with emotion and desire, make sure your new lady is enjoying you and not just your money. Gold diggers will eventually show their colors when they begin expecting you to pay for all their bills. Do you really want a woman who only sees you as a dollar sign or an ATM? (And maybe you don’t mind?)

Image: clutchmagonline

 

6. THE PASSIVE AGGRESSOR

This one reeks danger. She is unable to tell you how she feels so she acts out her feelings, which will surely confuse you. When she’s passive, it may seem alluring but that indifference will eventually turn back into violence when she feels she isn’t getting what she wants. Run forest run!

             

 Image: crosswalk

7. THE DRAMA MOMMA

She takes minor provocations as personal attacks. She will throw others under the bus (including you) to get what they “deserve”. This woman my friend is the drama momma; It reeks drama everywhere she goes. She always believes she’s been victimized and she ensure you hear very sordid detail. But the drama isn’t necessarily the dangerous side of this kind of woman (And really: A woman isn’t “dramatic” because she’s emotional. Emotions are healthy). Her problem is the underlying belief that it is always everyone else’s fault. This woman is to be avoided because she cannot comprehend the meaning of taking responsibility for her actions. She might even have a clinical condition, just saying.

Image: daz3d

Keeping all the above in mind, we should all be mindful of the reality we in; that relationships aren’t about finding perfection (experience has thought us all that it doesn’t exist). Relationships are about finding imperfect people who are aware of their flaws and weaknesses, people who are working to become better version of themselves for both parties. Bonne Chance!

Are you in a relationship with any of the listed or even better still, if you’re a lady and you found yourself in the list, do you agree that men should avoid you?