The Ones Worth Suffering For

A conversation between a friend and I went as below (when I found out some surprisingly shocking news)

#Sassyfunke: Mehn, I am scared of human beings
Friend: What do you mean?
#Sassyfunke: Like, who can one trust in this life sef. People just disappoint you every time
Friend:  Stay there
#Sassyfunke: Na wa oo
Friend: You need to ask yourself what people’s motivations are when they do things or else…I genuinely believe this is one of the best piece of advice I have ever received to date, that is to ask yourself what the motivation of others are when they step in your life, do things or act a certain way. I used to wonder in the past why bad things happen to “good” people quite frequently. I know good things happen to “good” people but let’s just focus on the negative things. When I say good people, I mean people that are genuine at heart and that approach new people with a truly open welcoming heart. “Good” people tend to easily open up their hearts, their home, themselves to everyone thinking that all is innocent before proven guilty. I am here to challenge that behavior. I am not saying that people should be perceived as guilty first before proven innocent but I am saying that we live in world where people are driven by selfish motivations and interests and as such one needs to be tactical about who we open our doors to (unless you want to come out of the world bruised and battered).  I am saying not everyone deserves the right to see YOU, know YOU and have a place in YOUR world. As human beings, we don’t have enough years to give everyone a benefit of doubt.  I used to ask why people could be so cruel. I no longer ask, I know the answer. The answer is simply that selfishness has blinded a lot of people. These people were simply focused on themselves, selfishly. This is a behavior which am sure has resonated with all of us at some point in our lives.

I see “questioning people’s motivations” as a way to pre-screen individuals. Most times, if you screen well, you can pretty much save yourself time, hassle and a lot of unnecessary drama. Bob Marley said ‘The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for’. I used to be the type of person who would be open to everyone and truly saw the best in people until they proved otherwise. I have changed. I don’t give much of myself to the world as I used to, not because I don’t have a lot to give but because I have become very selective about who I give to (and also because I value my time a lot more than I used to) and by doing so, I have a lot more peace of mind and a lot less drama around me. Some have accused me of not caring anymore but I disagree, I care immensely, but only for the ones I deem worth suffering for.

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley