#SassyFunke – Page 12

February 1, 2017February 3, 2019

A GUIDE TO VISITING Badagry

February is Black History month and what better place to explore and share with you than my trip to Badagry. My trip to visit Badagry was a bit unplanned but nevertheless fulfilling because I had a chance not only to hear about history but to get a thorough walk-though of the slave trade in Nigeria. Badagry is notably known for the slave trade to foreigners. I had the pleasure of having knowledgble tour guides walk me through the four key sights in the area over the course of 2 to 3 hours: The first storey building in Nigeria, The Chief Mobee Royal Family Original Slave Relic Museum, Seriki Faremi Williams Slave Museum and the Badagary Slave Route.

The history of the slave trade told of how 40 slaves were sold in exchange for an umbrella to how slaves were kept in inhumane conditions some for months before they were sold and shipped away. I had a pleasure to see history in a way I have never done before and this was indeed due to the impressive tour guides.

Rather than bore you further with a history lesson, I will leave you with visuals of my trip. Please also see here for a short vlog of my trip.

THE FIRST STOREY BUILDING IN NIGERIA

Standing in front of the first storey building

Tour guide at the First Storey Building talking about the quality of the materials then went into the building of the house

Being shown the safe that was located in the first storey building along with currencies that were used then by the British

This well is the only drinkable well in Badagry (located in the compound of the first storey building)…of course, I had a taste and have to admit that it tasted pretty good.

SERIKI FAREMI WILLIAMS ABASS SLAVE MUSEUM

The entrance of the museum

Baracoons are enclosures in which black slaves were confined for a limited period

Our tour guide sharing history with us

Some of the instruments of torture

CHIEF MOBEE FAMILY SLAVES RELICS MUSEUM

Certainly not the biggest museum in the world but holds history nevertheless

The Museum

The original drinking bowl from which slaves drank from

Depictions of slave treatment

ORIGINAL SLAVE ROUTE (THE POINT OF NO RETURN)

Our transportation from badagry to the island of “the point of no return” (approx. a 10 min journey)

On the slave route on the island

The only official store on the island (where I purchased the cutest coconut bag)

Arriving at the point of no return (It took approx. a 25-30 min walk to get from where the bought disembarked to reach this point by the atlantic)

What I loved: The tour guides who were very thorough and the closeness of all the sites visited which made it easy to walk and see most things.

What I hated: Not much but bear in mind that the trip to Badagry can be a long one (65KM from the mainland Lagos) if you do not make way at the right time (i.e. traffic-prone times)

Would I go back: Certainly! Especially to showcase to others who haven’t been. It is certainly one of the best tour sites I have visited in Nigeria.

Costs:

– Boat from Badagry to the island of the point of no return was N5000 for three of us (considering no one else was on the boat with us. Apparently its normally N1000 each if it was busy. N5000 included a tour guide that guided us through out the whole island.

– Each site cost approximately N200 – N500

Travel Tips: (1) Make sure to bring drinks with you to keep hydrated (there were options for drinks but I believe limited)

(2) Costs for all tour sites are negotiable and as such, make sure to bargain according to what you believe you can afford

(3) If you have an issue with walking 25 mins, please avoid going to the point of no return. There were no other means of transporting for tourist on arrival on the island so either you walk or just wait. (My 60 year old aunt came with along with me and was sooo mad lol)

I hope you enjoyed the write-up. Let me know if you haven questions about my trip. As always, I hope that I have inspired you to visit this gem is history.

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January 31, 2017January 30, 2017

What women really want (THE UNFILTERED TRUTH)

It would be completely unfair to let women know what guys really want and not do the same for the guys (all in the name of equality, of course). So many articles out there are selling men the tricks to making their women happy. Most are not honest so I thought to save you the cash and time and simply spill out the unwritten and unfiltered truth. So as a follow up from what guys really want, here I am with what we ladies really want:

(1) MONEY

No woman in the 21st century is likely going to throw herself in a financially difficult relationship. Most women in this century can cater for themselves and as much as they preach equality, deep inside they seek a man that can hold it down not only emotionally but also financially. We want to feel secure and as much as some may deny it, money plays a huge part in that security.

(2) PHYSICAL VALIDATION

Now guys, listen and listen real good, we’re absolutely tired of asking you how we look and you respond with lines like “I love you just the way you are” knowing well you are simply trying to be nice. Women love direct physical compliments like ‘your ass looks absolutely stunning in that dress’ so try being more specific with your compliments and see how your girl responds, you’d be surprised. #ThankMeLater

(3) SURPRISES

Women love to be surprised. I really wish I could emphasis more on that word “LOVE” because the guys that do this often know how much extra points they score. We women love the idea that you’re thinking about us 24/7 (even though we know its a lie), so little gestures like sending flowers to our office and stopping by unannounced to take us out to eat, could go a long way in keeping us happy.

(4) A GREAT LISTENER

This is really important because men misunderstand what it means to be a good listener and most of us women often get offended by your responses during conversations. For example, I was in a conversation with my boyfriend explaining how much I disliked a co-worker and right in the middle of the conversation he says “but don’t you think you take things a bit too far?” #WhoAskedForYourOpinion. Truth is comments like these offend most of us. We expect you to listen and if we ask your opinion, you take our side even if it kills you. Know when your opinion is warranted and when it isn’t.

(5) A FUNNY GUY

Hold up!!! We’re not necessarily searching for a comedian, but every girl has a soft spot for a funny guy (It’s what we Nigerian girls refer to as our Mumu button). The thing with funny guys is they get away with so much simply because they know how to spin our moods from mad/sad to happy at the speed of light.

(6) TO BE APPRECIATED

However insignificant our actions may seem to you, we want to know that you payed attention and appreciated it. By simply saying “Thank you” (because you want to not because you have to). AVOID giving sarcastic compliments like “this is the best meal you’ve made in ages babe”, we hate it! (are you trying to say our past meals were bad??). Simply say “Babe, I love this and thanks for taking the time to make this for me”.

Every girl wants you to think she’s the best thing that ever happened to you (even if it’s a lie). You may after reading this list believe women want too much…I can not argue with you on this one, I can only provide you with the truth. Do with it as you please.

I can’t pretend like guys don’t put in the work, I am simply saying you need a little more help. So ladies what else is it that you REALLY want from your man that I might have left out? Let me know by making use of the comments section below.

January 27, 2017January 30, 2017

6 THINGS I NEVER DO ON BEACHES IN LAGOS

The coastal city of Lagos has some of the best beaches in Nigeria. As much as the beach can be a place to unwind and let loose, there are certain things I wouldn’t do on beaches in Lagos. Whether it be Elegushi beach, Tarkwa bay, Eleko or the many likes, my sentiment remains the same. The exception being a super private beach.

1) GO WITH A BIKINI

The beach is a place to show a bit of skin but truth is a considerable amount of Nigerians are quite conservative (at least in public). As much as I may want to look sexy and free at the beach, I simply “leave the bikini at home” or keep it tucked under my dress. Doing otherwise will ensure that I would have nominated myself as the entertainment for the day (And trust me, no one wants to be the entertainment except those ones that are looking for business *wink*).

2) PDA

If you happen to be going to the beach in Lagos with you boo, it is advisable to get over the need to “express your love” (aka konji). Try making out as much as you want before hitting the beach. Lagosians do not take to kindly to people doing the things they assume should be left reserved for the bedroom out in the open. They may not hesitate to express their disgust.

3) MOVE INTO CROWDS

Unless I am planning to donate to pickpockets and petty thieves, I avoid crowds at beaches. It is advisable to remain far away from crowds. If people gather around you, RUN! #ThatSimple

4) SMOKE

I am not a smoker but some have said that the beach is best experienced when high. If you happen to be a smoker #notjudginghere, I would not advise you do so at the beaches in Lagos as you can’t predict what is in that roll up.

5) SWIM

I know what you’re thinking, “That’s the reason I ventured here in the first place” right?. I don’t (and no one does) take chances given I know people have drowned in the past (The overly adventurous ones). And truth is very few of our beaches have coastal lifeguards stationed around the beach so why take such a risk.

6) LITTER

A number of the beaches in Lagos are undeniable untidy because of the inability of visitors to refrain from dropping litter. So whenever you visit any of the beaches in Lagos, try as much as possible not to drop any litter.

The beaches in Lagos are beautiful places to relax and really switch off from the bustle of Lagos during the weekends. I think to sum up, I am simply advising you not to lose yourself and think you’re abroad in the west. Understand Lagos beach etiquette.

Have you been to a beach in Lagos? Any thing stick out to you. Let me know

January 24, 2017April 7, 2017

A GUIDE TO VISITING SANTORINI, GREECE

Santorini is one of the Cyclades islands in the Aegean Sea. It is one of the many beautiful islands in Greece. My perception of Santorini is that it was filled with only white and blue architecture as many pictures on social media portrayed (not quite, only a particular village in Santorini reflected this). I always also had the impression that Santorini was one of those islands meant for honeymooners and couples and having spent a few days there on a week tour of the greek islands, I could see why. My trip to Santorini followed my trip to Ios and was before my trip to to Mykonos. Make sure to check what I got up to in these locations too.

Capturing a cute boat after arriving at the ferry harbour

I arrived in Santorini by ferry, after spending a few days in the interesting and lively island of Ios. The streets of Santorini where windy and hilly. I went along this trip with one of my girlfriends and we stayed at the Ira Hotel & Spa. The hotel is located in Firostefani about 1km from Fira, the capital of Santorini (which is away from the bustle of Fira but close enough to walk to). Ira hotel is a stunning hotel with an incredible view of Santorini (Did I mention the pretty decent breakfast?).

Arriving at the Ira Hotel

Our beautiful balcony at the Ira hotel

The view from our balcony at the hotel

Poolside at our hotel before we went to explore the beauty of Santorini

We spent the day taking strolls in Santorini

Art work was very prevalent in most of the shops in Santorini

Post dinner vibes in Santorini with my room mate in business school

We spent our last evening visiting Oia, an village in the north west edge of Santorini where most of those stunning pictures we see online were actually taken from. Oia is the perfect backdrop for the beauty that is in Santorini so this is where you want to make sure you are camera ready.

Donkeys in Oia

A church in Oia

One of the most popular things to do in Oia is to watch the sunset from one of the bars on the cliff in Oia. Certainly a must-do if you decide to visit Oia. Because it is a must-do, I suggest you find yourself a spot early as its a popular tourist destination that gets packed very quickly.

Watching sunset in Oia

Before I forget, the food in Santorini was phenomenal especially if your thing is seafood. My favourite restaurant hands down was Sea side by Notos. It is located by the beach of Agios Georgios. The beach here is filled with dark sand and is home to many gorgeous beach bars. Memorable thing happened on our arrival at the beach when our car got stuck in the sand. Within minutes, people came to help to pull out our car. I had thought we would be stuck there for hours.

Food at Sea Side by Notos

Fish based starter at Sea Side by Notos

In summary, if you are single and visiting Santorini, ensure to bring your single friends along (at least 3 people), fill your days with beach activities, venture to the many amazing restaurants and beaches and of course, don’t over stay your welcome in Santorini (The many love birds may make you depressed after a while).

Getting around: For the most part we walked for the most part but hired a two seater vehicle when we ventured to Oia and to other beaches.

What I liked: Food Food Food and of course the spectacular views. That I stayed two nights, any more days would have been boring.

What I didn’t like: That I didn’t eat enough lol. I also felt Santorini lacked much to do in terms of activities aside from beach related ones hence why its a perfect honeymoon destination

Travel Tip: Worth getting a car when in Santorini or even a quad bike if you want to explore the island. You don’t have to book in advance as there were many hiring companies to choose from. I also felt it was cheaper to book when on ground.

Hope you enjoyed the write-up. Have you visited Santorini before? What were your highlights? and if you have any questions, please feel free to ask.

January 22, 2017January 14, 2017

10 reasons why you will never be promoted in 2017

Ever wonder why it seems you are the only one not getting promoted in your office? Here are some pointers to help on your way to getting that much desired promotion. Note that these pointers are not full-proof as there managers out there that are just pure evil (i.e. have a personal vendetta against you (unfortunately, I can’t help you with that one)).

But if you don’t have such crazy managers, here are reasons why you may be holding back your destiny of success:

1) YOU DON’T TAKE FEEDBACK

Must every criticism be taken as though someone has a personal vendetta against you. If you get defensive each time you receive constructive feedback, you will be perceived as rigid and unable to take correction. Feedback is not always a bad thing so when you receive constructive criticisms, resist the urge to defend yourself. PAUSE, TAKE IT IN, REFLECT and see what you can learn from it.

Image: debmillswriter

2) NO INITIATIVE

An initiative taker is someone who is quick on their feet to generate ideas, they hear problems spoken aloud and without being asked, they turn them into project plans and then into solutions. If you do not take initiative, your promotion might still be hanging on this. Go beyond someone who just sees or lodges the complaint, be a problem solver.

Image: kiddikraft

3) BAD ATTITUDE

Heard of the common saying that ‘Your attitude determines your altitude’? This is true especially in your workplace. If you are good at your job and your attitude is bad, you most likely will not be the first person that comes to mind when the talks of promotion are being discussed. Look inwardly and change your attitude to your work, your colleagues and in the work environment in general.

Image: newyork

4) NO LEADERSHIP SKILLS

If you tend to stand in the shadows only to be seen when you are called upon, you are running in the opposite direction from your promotion. There is value in strong leadership and as such people who show leadership skills tend to shine more and guess who gets promoted…only those that shine brightest.

Image: leadershipinsightsblog

5) LAZINESS

Unwillingness to take on extra work or put in the extra effort will only portray you as a lazy fellow. This sends a message to your manager that even if you’re capable of doing more work, you’re not willing to do so. I am not suggesting that you become a workaholic just to be seen. I am encouraging you to go the extra mile and very soon that promotion will be yours.

Image: blog.muovo.eu

6) NOT PLAYING TO YOUR STRENGTHS

We all have strengths and weakness but strategically seeking out opportunities that showcase your strengths will help in getting you a promotion quickly. Why spend your life trying to race against lions when you are a tortoise #TotalWasteOfTime. In many cases, you need to already be operating in your new level before the formal promotion follows.

Image: jelanikhalfani

7) PASSIONLESS ABOUT THE JOB

When you have passion for your job, you invest your time and energy in getting things done well. This type of passion is exactly what your boss is looking for when promoting an employee. Passion is infectious and can have an enormous impact on your company. If you’re going to receive a promotion, you’ll need passion that will inspire others. If you’re lacking this passion, your boss will most definitely search for it elsewhere within your company.

Image: naldzgraphics

8) LACK A SENSE OF URGENCY

High achieving employees have a high sense of urgency. As you master a task, it stands to reason that you should be able to do it faster and better than when you started or than your less experienced colleagues. If you are not increasing your rate or your results or both, you should question why (probably your manager is asking that same question).

Image: blog.hubspot

9) NO RESPONSIBILITY OR OWNERSHIP

Do you blame others when things go wrong? Always have an excuse? Never take responsibility for failures? That’s a great way to limit your altitude in that career. Managers want to see that you’re willing to own up to errors and find ways to improve. Take responsibilities for faults (if they are indeed yours), find ways to resolve issues, that way you learn from mistakes and reduce the likeliness of you making them again.

Image: soulseeds

10) YOUR SOFT SKILLS ARE NOT UP TO PAR

When it comes down to receiving a promotion, your soft skills; effective communication, team player, motivation and so on will be the difference between you and the other candidate. Many employers look at soft skills when making a hiring decision. So to make sure you are worthy of a promotion, make sure your soft skills are some of your strongest skills. You need to have a balance between your hard and soft skills that will make you the perfect candidate for a promotion.

Image: gviservicelearning

If you were overlooked for a promotion, it isn’t the end of the world. In fact, missing out on a promotion can give you a great opportunity to learn new skills and improve as a professional. For now, evaluate your strengths and weaknesses and ask your peers and managers for constant feedback and see how you can improve from there. This will guide you in the right direction for receiving a promotion.

Know any more pointers to getting promoted? Do share, that is what family is for, right? (I consider you family *wink*))

January 21, 2017February 3, 2019

CHECKING IN: LA CAMPAGNE TROPICANA BEACH RESORT (DAY TRIP REVIEW)

With the value of the Naira diminishing every day, it is the case that many Nigerians are re-thinking their annual Dubai and US holidays. The truth is that many Nigerians do not feel they have gone on holiday until they have checked-in their luggage at Murtala Muhammed airport and jumped on an international flight.

There are many gems in this country of ours as alternatives and it takes just a little research to unearth them. One of these gems for me was at the La Campagne Tropicana Beach Resort based in the Ibeju Lekki. I went to this resort for a day and below is my visual diary and review of my trip at the end. Here also is a video I made of my trip. Enjoy!

The cute corner in the reception room at the resort

The bus that drove my cousin (pictured) and I from the reception area to the beach and back (about a 10min walk so certainly walkable).

The gorgeous beach beds that can be rented for the day or night

Activities were vast at the resort (above was pool volleyball)

A snippet of the really long CLEAN pool with pool bars

An island in the pool

Beach vibes

“Yoru’bar” – One of the many bars at the resort (The name playing on the yoruba tribe name)

One of the accommodation areas. LabaLaba village hosts huts like the ones below which were gorgeous but if you are looking for luxury, I would say to upgrade to the other accomodations.

In front of “Laba 5” (one of the cheaper yet decent accommodation options)

Review of the resort:

Accommodation: I didn’t sleep overnight as I went on a day trip but I did request a tour of the “Laba” and “Obieze” rooms. They were certainly impressive and I was tempted to stay the night.

Activities: So many options from kayaking to basketball to volleyball to many other games.

Cleaniness: I was impressed by how clean the beach and common areas were. There were an abundant of staff on ground everywhere I turned which created the impression that there was always someone around to help.

Food: I had no experience of the food served as our group came prepared with our own bbq spread.

Security: I felt quite secure just because there were “serious” security guards on entrance into the resort.

What I didn’t like: Nothing much to say to be honest as I had not set my expectations high but I was blown away.

Would I go back: Yes! Yes! Yes!

Perfect for: Honeymoon, girls retreat, company retreats. I would also recommend people to stay overnight as I felt that was the best way to get the most of the resort.

Hope you enjoyed the write-up. Do let me know if you have any questions in the comments section below.

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January 19, 2017January 19, 2017

The Lagos Chronicles: The Travails of the “Danfo” Bus Passenger

The ‘Danfo’ bus is a passenger bus that operates in Lagos and carries approximately 16-18 passengers. They play an essential role in the lives of millions of Lagosians, including myself (I used to board 7 of them on average every week whilst I was younger, growing up in Nigeria).

As much as these Danfo Buses are useful, most of we the passengers have lots of tales of woes to tell and sometimes the drama is not necessarily from the crazy Danfo drivers and their conductors. It is from the well “interesting” passengers.

These buses carry a mix of characters i.e. “The gentle”, “The angry, “The born-again” (aka serious Christians) and so on. Are you ready to find yourself among this list below or at least to be entertained (if this whole concept and experience is new to you as you are chauffeur -driven)

– THE SCREAMERS

Are you that passenger that is always with N1000 or N500 note for just a N50 bus fare? Then when the conductor proceeds to give you change less that N50, you would start screaming at the top of your voice for N50 change? Please behave yourself please, everyone is looking for change so please find your change before entering and disturbing us or didn’t you hear “enter with your change?”

Image: techcabal

– THE SLEEPERS

If it’s around 5am-7am, it’s acceptable to sleep but for those who use their heads to disturb people’s shoulders at 12pm or 6pm, I tire! You entered the bus single and now you have bae. If you are one of those who can’t but sleep, please do it with swag aka style. Don’t always hit your head on the person in front or beside you. Remember, you are not in the four corners of your home.

Image: naij

– THE ARGUERS

You won’t even know what caused the argument. Before you know it, you will just start hearing noise “Buhari is this…”, “Fashola is that…”. Please, if you are one of them, stop disturbing the Danfo community and if you are just an onlooker, please don’t interfere o, because before you know it someone can start breaking bottles.

Image: adelove

– THE AMEBO

You would think you and this person went to the store together and bought 50% of your phone. They have no shame in ogling at your chats or whatever you are doing with your phone at that particular time. They even have the audacity to give some advice based on your personal chats #Facefrontbusybody!

Image: aderonkebamidele

– THE LYING LIONS

The confident way this person will keep lying to the person on the other side of the phone that he is at “Jibowu” when in fact he is in “Festac” would surprise you. You would even want to be double check that you boarded the right bus.

Image: zikoko

– THE PASTORS

Yes, the pastors! They literally turn the entire trip into a complete Sunday service with testimony and offering. Once you hear ‘Praise the lord”, get ready. Can we just travel in peace? Telling them to be quiet will be like telling God you don’t want to hear his word so you just suck it up #NoOneIsReadyToOffendGodHere

Image: encomium

My mantra whenever I used to enter the Danfo bus was to respect myself, hold my change, plug my earphones in my ears and listen to my music. No drama for me please.

Which category do you belong to? Got any Danfo Bus story? Sharing is caring *winks*

January 17, 2017January 17, 2017

What men ACTUALLY want (The unfiltered truth)

Ladies!! Has your man ever hit you with the ‘if only you knew what I want” line? (ouch!), stings doesn’t it? Quite a number of us women commit immense time and energy to make sure our man is happy but most times, it seems like energy is being wasted. We spend hours online looking online for inspirational dishes. We then spend hours rummaging the supermarkets for the ingredients, not to mention those hot long hours in the kitchen trying to throw down an amazing 5 course dinner, to received a “Thanks” from our man. This is exactly why I’ve been inspired to create this post to let you know what it is that your man really really wants. Some of you might need to hold your weaves for this one because these men are needy to put it lightly.

1. SEX

Men love intimacy and want to be able to express that in an intimate way on a regular basis. Nothing much left to say here. That simple.

2. SUPPORT

You may think you support your man because you’re always there for him during tough times. Nice but the kind of support they need is the kind you give when his favourite sports team is playing (did someone say huh???). Your man really wants support when he’s watching his favorite sports team play. If you can’t stand watching sports (a lot of women can’t), try to at least make sure he enjoys his game by not being a distraction. If you want to get in his good books, buy him his favorite player’s jersey.

3. FREE PASSES

Calm down, it’s not what you’re thinking. What I mean is an escape from most of the boring outings we all engage in these days. A lot of us ladies make our man go on outings like attending our book clubs, our weird doctors appointments and even shopping trips. Honestly, women that take their men shopping are just the worst in men’s books (unless he’s paying then we don’t care how he feels #joking).

4. EMOTIONAL MATURITY

No guy wants an overly emotional being as a partner. Men don’t want to be burdened with the need to sugarcoat their words especially when trying to offer productive critique. They love the idea of their woman being able to handle her emotions especially when handling issues concerning the relationship.

5. THE PLAYFUL TYPE

Every man wants a playful lady, one who he can keep him smiling despite the stress that comes with life. A lot of us ladies can neither give nor take a joke meanwhile guys love women who can laugh at anything. A male friend of mine once said “Astrophysics should be left for the classroom and not the home”.

6. RESPECT

It goes without saying that you can’t give what you do not have. Ideal women possess certain levels of self-respect and this can reflect in how much you respect your man. Respect being that you understand most of his needs and you give him just enough space to express himself without making yourself a priority over him.

7. CONFIDENCE

There is nothing sexier to a man than a woman who is confident within and loves herself. Guys see landing a confident woman like getting an ultimate prize because they know you have your own thing going that keeps you happy and so even when they’re not there, you’re good. Essentially, guys don’t want a needy woman but at the same time, they need you to need them (hope you get my drift).

Guys are not as simple as we mistake them to be ladies, so we really should try to make extra effort to figure out makes them happy (Simply ask your man, and you’ll find the keys). No point wasting our time doing what we think they need when we can simply focus on what they need. For the ladies, I’ll share my sassy post on what women want next week. And FYI just because I have put up a list of what men want doesn’t mean that you necessarily have to give it to them. I want a mansion in beverly hills, I want to be a billionaire, I want to have my cake and also eat it…you can see I want a lot, it doesn’t mean I can’t survive without it!

Men and women often want the same things, we just need each other to bring it out. – Steve Harvey

So do you agree with this or you think I have completely missed the mark? Let me know by commenting below.

January 13, 2017January 8, 2017

The art of Gatecrashing aka #Mogbomoya: How to do it well in Lagos and beyond

Unlike in the west where gatecrashing is not something one would dream of doing, in Nigeria we do it different. In Lagos, Nigeria, gatecrashing is something most us have done and will continue to do in the future. Imagine it’s the weekend and you have no party plans but you have a mission to have a good time nevertheless..what to do? Truth is there are numerous events happening aka weddings but we all know that gatecrashing parties in Lagos has become much harder than before. Some parties now require an invitation with unique bar codes for entry (and the organizers will still place a bouncer in front of the venue like it’s Quilox nightclub).

But not to worry, I have some simple effective gatecrashing (aka. Mogbomoya) tips for you. With these tips, you can forever grate crash (not that I always do or do I? *wink*) any party.

CHOOSE THE PARTY WISELY

You should know exactly what you want out of the party from the onset. Is it the party jollof? the souvenirs? Or the best man? Once you know what you want, then you can select the party wisely. Also make sure to look at the party’s hashtag on instagram to check out the calibre of party this is. You should always gate-crash with purpose. This crucial step in choosing the party wisely will ensure you fulfil your purpose. If your plan was to bag a billionaire, I doubt gate crashing a cheap wedding would be smart on your part given the investment you make have to put into it.

Image: jaguda

DRESS THE PART

Some people stick out like a sore thumb. Dress up like it’s yours cousin’s wedding. Tie your gele (aka head tie) properly and make sure your make-up is on point (Everyone is a make-up artist nowadays so this there is no excuse for any sub par looking face). Upon entering into the party, make sure you enter with confidence such that any bouncer would think twice before asking you where you are going.

Image: nairaland

DON’T BE EARLY

This is a rookie mistake (and shame on you if you are Nigerian too, you know better than to be early or on time for an event). You don’t really want to venture into a party when the bouncers are still in full action. Go when the party is in full swing and when the people in attendance are more than the bouncers can handle.

Image via privatereview.com

STYLISHLY WALK-IN

As you proceed to the entrance of the hall, wait until you see a very large group of people entering and quickly attach yourself to the group. Then, pretend to be on the phone as you walk in BUT don’t walk too fast. If one of the bouncers tries to stop you, give him the ‘you must be mad’ look (all Nigerians have perfected this look…if you have Nigerian friend, ensure they show you the look) and brush past.

Image: todaygh

POSITION YOUR SEAT STRATEGICALLY

Now what’s the point of getting into the Owambe #PARTY, blending in, and not getting what you came for (whether it be food or a man/woman or a connect). To make sure you are strategically well positioned, I would advise to sit close to the bridal train. The best things always find themselves there.

Image: molarawood.blogspot

The truth is we all gatecrash weddings (some more often than others) and but no one wants to be known as a gate-crasher. The gatecrashing business is not for the slow ones, you must be eagle-eyed and smart to come out on top.

Have I helped or at least entertained you? Share with me some #mogbomoya tips, (oh I know you have them). I can’t wait to hear them.

January 11, 2017February 16, 2017

5 REASONS WHY TRAVELLERS IN NIGERIA NEVER SLEEP ON A ROAD TRIP

Have you ever wondered why travellers in Nigeria don’t blink an eye during a long distance road trip? Truth is that we travellers here have trust issues amongst other reasons. We are very well informed about unfortunate incidents that occur on some of these trips and we like to keep our names out of the media (if our names ever make it, that is) .

Here are the 5 top reasons travellers in Nigeria never sleep on a road trip:

1. AGGRESSIVE TOUTS

From time to time, there may be touts ready to scare passengers and extort them of money. Naaa not us, we want to see them coming (not sure we would be able to do anything but still better to be aware than not).

2. BAD DRIVERS

Truth is when you’re asleep, you are not able to judge the state of your driver. There are some great drivers out there but are you really going to take that chance? Stay awake and you can caution your driver when he starts driving like a drunk Lewis Hamilton.

3. PASSENGERS STEALING YOUR POSSESSIONS

Whilst everyone thinks that you need a high staged robbery to get robbed, we travellers are well aware that the person sitting next to us can also be a petty robber if the opportunity arises. And again, we are not taking that chance.

4. DESTINATION DOESN’T CHANGE

Your driver might want to visit another location for his own pleasure (Perhaps his girlfriend told him to quickly drop by home to give her some money). You need to stay up in order to monitor your drivers’ movement so as to prevent any unnecessary delay.

5. NOT WANTING TO MISS OUT ON SHOPPING OPPORTUNITIES

Passengers are always on the look out for good buys for their own use or for their relatives before they reach their destination. Retailers and hawkers are not always present in every location but are seen at market points not even known by passengers. This is enough reason for them not to sleep on a road trip (Any excuse to bag a bargain).

What do you think about the reasons? Are they valid enough or not? Nevertheless hope you enjoyed the read.