I was inspired to write this particular post a month ago when I went to church and heard a sermon about “relationship audit”. The title pretty much sums it up…essentially how we need to periodically audit those we are in a relationship (friendships and the likes) with and really discern whether these relationships are opening us to opportunities and growth or ushering us into failure.
I personally constantly reflect on some of the relationships that I have and know I need to nip a few of them in the bud. These relationships seem of convenience (those that are so great when all is well but fall apart when shook-up, you know those ones filled with “happiness” as long as you are in agreement but when you’re not….its another dramatic story). I am not one for these weak selective relationships. Yes, I believe they are weak and I have no energy for weak souls or interations. They need to keep it moving. My friendships need to be able to embrace and deal with storms for them to mean something of substance to me.
So to why YOU (and I) need to let go of these relationships (of convenience and the likes):
- Eliminate fakeness: there is always some element of ingenuity and not being able to yourself so as not to offend the other party…aint no one have time for that. Life is too short to be living in pretence to make someone else feel ok.
- Exhaustion: Time, emotionally and mentally exhausting – you get the drift
- Creating space: We all complain of not having enough time but I have come to realize that the act of stepping back of some relationships gives you more time and mental capacity and space. Space to give more to yourself or to those friendships that breed growth (or even space to sleep longer/better 🙂 )
- Your potential: This point is so simple yet the most important for me, some of these relationship will literally limit the potential of who you can become. Some relationship just block you from your destiny (Nigerian church’s are really rubbing off on me lol). Y’all know I love myself too much to let any one outside of myself to limit my potential.
Anyways those are my little two cents on this beautiful Sunday evening in Lagos.
What did you think of the whole concept of “relationship audit” and is it something you engage in from time to time?
“Draw a circle around yourself- invite people in or keep them out. We are the creators of our own social geometry. Calculate your volume.”
|| Rachel Wolchin