The Lagos Chronicles: “You women are the worst”

Before I received my driving license here in Lagos, I went through a number of hurdles, one of which was an interview style test I had at the test centre (I am sure you will debate whether this exists but it does). I took this test amongst 4 other men. What was interesting to me was the comments made by the test administrator prior to initiating the test. He spent a few minutes talking to us about how women were bad drivers (of course apologizing to me in advance). He said there is no way a woman would allow you to overtake them and how we women were very aggressive and needed to be more courteous on the road.

A few weeks later, I made an attempt to queue up at a Mobil petrol station. I noticed two cars (with male drivers) in front of me (but on the other side of the road) making a turn around. I assumed they were turning to drive off in my direction but it seemed they were also trying to queue up. One made it in front of me, the other didn’t. They went on to give me dirty looks and throw words I couldn’t quite make out, all of which I of course ignored. Anyways fast forward, once we reached the petrol pumps and I stepped out to fill my tank, the guy in front of me at another pump came over to ask why I behaved like that. I asked him why he was being aggressive, he said and I quote “you women are the worst, you are never nice on the road, so aggressive”.

These two experiences and other similar ones I had since I have moved back made me reflect deeper as to why women were perceived this way. I realized that when women are nice or perceived sweet, they are taken advantaged of so women automatically take a defensive approach on the road (I am generalizing by the way). I think this reasoning further applies off the road. I have heard men complain that women are quick to say in regard to relationships “what do you want from me?” or “if you’re not serious about me, leave me alone” or “are we exclusive, if not leave me?” all in a bid to protect themselves. The question is can you blame them? Everyone has a natural instinct to protect one’s self from pain so maybe, just maybe it’s the experiences that we have endured that has “hardened” us. The truth is there is nothing hard about us, dig deeper and you will find that we are soft shells fearful of being taken advantage.

“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.” 
|| Marie Curie

I would love to hear you thoughts on this piece. Can you relate?

Till next time

#Sassy