The Lagos Chronicles: Why I don’t envy YOU and why…

…you SHOULDN’T envy ME?

I stepped into a supermarket deli in Lagos this weekend to get some food. I ordered a number of things. I told one lady to dish me some beans and plantain and some efo riro (i.e. a vegetable sauce). I walked further to the counters and picked a salad and coleslaw pack (not having picked up food that was being dished for me). A 40 something good-looking lady (also shopping) complimented me saying it was great that I was eating healthy and that my lifestyle looked and seemed encouraging. My response to her was “that beans and plantain being dished over there is also mine”.

She was like “wow, that is why you should never make assumptions of others, you never know what’s going on behind the scene”.

Her response drove me to write today. I live in Lagos, a city where “who you are”, “what you drive”, “where you eat”, “who you know/who you can convince people you know” and “where you live” plays a huge part in how people perceive or even treat you (From that CEO of that company to that guy that sells apples on the street – these factors affect how they treat you). I believe to a great extent people are not necessary only jealous but aspire to being perceived well-off/rich/affluent (Btw this is my own opinion o, you can disagree as much you like, that’s your own)

So why should we be weary of being jealous or envious of  one another?

 

1. We do not know where their funds from their lifestyle came from (maybe from looting funds, pyramid scheme, LOANS??, maybe inherited, maybe company paid, maybe they went to one babalawo (oracle teller) to sacrifice a few chickens and some other things (check out #nollywood movies on youtube or ask your Nigerian friends for more explanation lol) – who knows?)
2. We do not know what struggle they had to go through to get there (perhaps struggle you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy)
3. Maybe the path God has destined for us is different and that is what we should spend our time embracing
4. What we may be jealous of is perhaps the least of what fufils those people
5. We lose sight of our own beauties and uniqueness

My hope for you is never to be jealous of others…Acknowledge what others have, their success, their drive, their achievements (YES) but don’t hope or pray for it as you could get more than you bargained for. That instagram picture or facebook gallery of that luxurious lifestyle, those luxurious bags, those amazing friendships, those amazing couples could be masking so much fakeness, unhappiness, grief, pain – who knows?

 

My hope is for you to focus you energy on YOU and YOURS so that you live YOUR life drowning in tears of happiness and success (YOUR definition of success)

What do you think of my rant today? I would love to hear your thoughts

#Sassy

“A lot of people get so hung up on what they can’t have that they don’t think for a second about whether they really want it.”

||Lionel Shriver