How pain and hurt became the beginning of JOY

   Most people that know me see my as the fun-loving, forever happy person and I often get asked whether I am ever sad. Whenever I am asked this, I just smile because only I know my own story. Most people don’t know I am quite spiritual. I may not read a bible verse everyday, I may be perceived as the social butterfly, but I feel so connected to God and he is no doubt the core of my being and existence. I have a story for you, maybe two. Years ago, I went through two events in life that shook my earth. One was a break-up in a relationship. It shook my earth because in the process I felt I lost a friendship that meant the world to me and till today, it’s a loss I wish I could have done without. The second was painful on a scale I never thought humanly possible and it was when I nearly lost my mother (as I write this, the tears still flow) to an illness. I blamed the world, my family, God, everyone. Thankfully she has now fully recovered.I remember months after these experiences, I went to my church at the dominion theatre in London as I normally do with a friend and what happened next was a little overwhelming. I sat down and I couldn’t stop crying for the entire service for no good reason. I remember my friend asking me if I was ok to which I responded yes (To be honest, I was confused as to my I was crying, I hardly ever shed tears for anything or anyone). I was ok but I felt a sense of relief and a presence letting me know that it was ok for me to feel weak, to feel sad, to feel pain but that it would all be ok, and that I would face further trials and tribulations in life but that I should know that it will all be ok and that I wasn’t alone in it.

Some of you will read this and think ‘oh my, she has gone and lost it’ (haha, maybe I have but who knows). But the powerful thing that experience in church had on me that day changed my life forever. It changed the way I viewed setbacks, hurt, tribulations and trials. I saw these things as ‘OK’. Meaning it’s ok for these experiences to come into my life, its ok for them to try and shake me up but the change now is that I don’t entertain them in defining who are I am. I don’t give them the arena to manifest and build castles around in my life. Because of this experience, my life has been more fulfilled, more enriched. People often ask how I find it easy to move on from trials, problems, drama and the rest and I simply say that whilst these trials are all part and parcel of life, they only represent a drop of salt in what is an ocean that represents my life. They don’t affect or define me unless I let them do so. Yes, THAT SIMPLE.

“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton

#SassyFunke

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